Plot: What’s it about?
Sinderella (Suzanne Sybele) is tired of being put down and hassled by her mean stepmother & sadistic stepsisters. She wants nothing more than to attend Prince David’s masked ball, but she is poor and cannot afford a nice dress. But have no fear, as she soon gets a visit from her Fairy Godfather (Sidney Lassick), who delivers a special gown, one that is sure to make her the focal point of the masked ball. Prince David is holding the ball to help in his search for a bride, as he has had trouble finding a maiden to call his own. Although she was told not to go, Sinderella attends with her magical gown, but of course, the magic only works until midnight. She and Prince David hit it off right from the start and sparks start to fly quickly, but with time running out, she is forced to leave in a haste. But her golden bra was left behind and with it, Prince David plans to conduct a search in the area for the woman of his dreams. In Goldilocks and the Three Bares, a man begins to have doubts when his girlfriend leaves him alone on the weekends. So he has a friend trailer her to see where is she going and in a shocking turn of events, it is discovered that she visits Sunshine Park, a nudist colony. Can he accept this unusual lifestyle choice and perhaps even join her, or is it simply too far out for this dude?
These movies might have fairy tale sounding titles, but don’t be fooled, these fantasies are for adults only. This new double feature from Something Weird offers a ton of naked women, a glimpse into the world of nudism, and some downright terrible songs. I found Sinderella and the Golden Bra to be the more entertaining of the two pictures, but if you’re a fan of sexploitation, both should provide some fun moments. I just like Sinderella better because it sticks close to the original fairy tale, which makes the outrageous sexual antics that much more fun. The fact that it is also a musical adds even more schlock, especially since the music, lyrics, and voice work are laughable, making Sinderella and the Golden Bra a true comedy of errors. But it is so damn bad, you’ll have a riotous time as you watch all the mistakes, poor performances, and miserable songs. Goldilocks and the Three Bares comes from director Herschell Gordon Lewis (Blood Feast, The Gore Gore Girls) and maverick exploitation producer David F. Friedman, but isn’t up to their usual standards. Of course, I prefer the work they did in the horror genre, as opposed to their sexploitation projects, so perhaps I just missed all the low rent gore. This is yet another fun double dose of sexploitation from Something Weird, so for fans of the genre, this disc is more than recommended.
Video: How does it look?
Sinderella and the Golden Bra & Goldilocks and the Three Bares are both presented in full frame. Sinderella comes out on the short end here, as the print has numerous scratches and defects, though some scenes look clean enough. I know this kind of material is going to have some age signs, but this is much worse than most Something Weird releases. The colors and contrast are solid in most scenes, but the print flaws lessen the experience, to be sure. Goldilocks has a much cleaner print, though some minor hiccups emerge at times. The colors come off as bright and contrast is smooth, so this one looks quite good. The score here is an average of both movies, since one looks good and the other looks bad. But even with a mixed visual effort, you have to be glad just to see these two movies available on DVD.
Audio: How does it sound?
The audio in these films is mono and decent enough, but don’t expect much in terms of dynamic presence. The tracks seem pretty clean and show little age related wear, so there’s not much to complain about. I heard minimal hiss and harshness in either flick, which is good, as some of these older exploitation movies often sound poor. The music, sound effects, and dialogue all seem in order, though limited because of the mono format involved. The basic elements come through well however, which is what counts in the end.
Supplements: What are the extras?
An audio commentary track starts us off, as producer David F. Friedman lends his thoughts on Goldilocks and the Three Bares. This is the usual Something Weird session, as Friedman and friends discuss the production, as well as the various ladies involved. A lot of good information on the stars is found here, plus a lot of humorous moments. You can also watch theatrical trailers for both movies, but the fun doesn’t end there. This disc also includes five bonus shorts (Cinderella’s Love Lesson, Goldielocks Goes Glamorous, This Diary Belongs to Fanny Hill, Nude in the Window, and Double Trouble), a half hour bonus short titled The Super Dreams, and of course, a selection of sexploitation artwork.
