Plot: What’s it about?
Happy Valley High has some of the hottest cheerleaders around, as well as some of the geekiest nerds you’ll ever see. The nerds don their Star Trek uniforms, type away on their keyboards, and lust after those heavenly cheerleaders. These dorks even take pictures of their fantasy femmes and upload them to a special internet site. This gives them a chance to have all their spank material in one place, as well as share the love with other geeks out in cyberspace. But not all is well in Happy Valley, as a group of prudish and ruthless religious zealots has started a campaign to ban smut on the internet. And since they blame all of the pornographic material on cheerleaders, this means all out war with Happy Valley’s squad. Of course, these women are too old to handle the cheerleaders themselves, so they hire out some tough chicks from the local reform school. As expected, the reform school girls are thrilled to take on the prissy cheerleaders and soon enough, the perky squad gets a sound ass kicking. But this is not the end, as the cheerleaders meet up with a martial arts master, who trains them in the ways of the ancient warriors. Now it is time for a rematch, but can the girls somehow turn the tables this time?
Now this is a good premise, one which promises hot cheerleaders, even hotter reform school girls, martial arts mayhem, and of course, naked women. But did Cheerleader Ninjas deliver on all those promises? I have to admit, all of those elements are present in the movie, but sadly, none are used to full potential. I expected a wild, campish adventure with all kinds of insane moments, but instead, director Kevin Campbell has produced a bland, ineffective comedic picture. Campbell tries to hit the same kind of notes as films like Naked Gun, but his writing is weak in most scenes and results in ten times more groans than laughs. I would have preferred fewer jokes, with more focus on sex or violence, like we saw in the classic cheerleader movies out there. The jokes might be lame as can be, but at least the girls are on parade and show no shyness. This means ample nudity and in some films, that can be enough to balance out bad jokes. The ample breasts and other exploitative elements are the bright spots in Cheerleader Ninjas, which should have been a sign to Campbell to cut out his jokes and focus more on the chicks. A few scenes do work well and there is some potential with the material, but Campbell fails to make this a solid movie. Even so, for those who can’t get enough naked cheerleaders, this release is worth a rental.
Video: How does it look?
Cheerleader Ninjas is presented in 1.78:1 widescreen, which is not enhanced for widescreen televisions. This looks like a low rent production, which is fine in this case, since this was a low, low rent production. A little more refined than a simple home movie, but still rather raw and soft, as if it were shot on either high end video or low end film. There is an odd line than scans across the screen, which isn’t a serious distraction, but is very visible in a number of sequences. For what it is, the movie looks good here, with bold colors and a pretty clean source print, which is about all we can ask in this case. I did notice some jagged edges, softness, and that damn scan line, but all in all, this is a more than acceptable presentation.
Audio: How does it sound?
Not a whole lot to discusses here, as this was a low budget production and as such, it sounds like one in this release. That is not to say that the audio is bad, but you can tell that the audio wasn’t one of the main focuses. This kind of movie doesn’t need a creative sound design however, so not much is missed in this soundtrack. At least some decent separation is to be heard, while flaws remain limited to some minor hiccups. The limited production values do limit the audio at times, but given the situation, it all turns out well enough. The sound effects are clear and audible, while vocals have a clean, crisp presence also. Not the kind of soundtrack to show off your system, but a more than solid one for this material. This disc also includes subtitles in English and Spanish, just in case you’ll need those.
Supplements: What are the extras?
This disc includes the film’s promotional trailer.
