Bad Movie Police: Galaxy of the Dinosaurs

January 28, 2012 7 Min Read

Review by: Fusion3600

Plot: What’s it about?

The video stores in every town have become overrun with bad movies, but no one can seem to stop the madness. In order to slow down this tidal wave of schlock, a special task force has been created with a mission to clean up rental shelves everywhere. The squad is led by two busty women, Sgt. Elke Mantooth (Ariauna Albright) and Lt. Drucilla Dread (Lilith Stabs), both fierce females with a great distaste for misused cinema. These two women are armed and dangerous, with a determined mission to seek out the worst abusers of cinema, present the evidence of their crimes, then bust them as producers of bad movies. In this case, the movie in question is Galaxy of the Dinosaurs, which was a 1992 production. The film follows a bunch of aliens, who happen to look like humans, perhaps due to makeup and special effects limitations. In any event, these aliens crash land on distant planet, one much different from their own. The planet looks like a backyard in Ohio, until some prehistoric creatures emerge and begin to cause chaos, but for some reason, those moments seem to be a couple decades old. These aliens were used to an advanced civilization, but on this world, they must trust in a caveman local. Will the crew find a way to return home and more to the point, will anyone be able to stay awake to find out?

A movie like this one is so bad, there should be a law. And now there is, as the Bad Movie Police on are the beat and in this first case, the defendant is Lance Randa’s Galaxy of the Dinosaurs, an obvious offender. Of course, the real director of this film wasn’t “Lance Randa,” but in fact J.R. Bookwalter, the head honcho over at Tempe. So right from the start, you should know this Bad Movie Police series has a massive sense of humor. Galaxy of the Dinosaurs is as low rent as a film gets, with ample stock footage pulled from Planet of the Dinosaurs, a movie produced in the 1970s. There is some charm to the movie at times, such as the hilariously bad acting, poor production values, and great use of stock footage stop motion. This is a bad movie to be sure, but it remains somewhat watchable, if only in a morbid sense. In addition to the main movie, which is of course, guilty on all counts, you also get a special episode of Bad Movie Police, in which the busty officers make the case for how bad the flick is. I like the premise behind this series a lot, as I love bad movies to no end, but even I might have a hard time liking some of these flicks, if the first couple volumes are an indication of what’s to come. But with the Mystery Science Theater 3000 type approach used here, this could prove to be a terrific, wildly entertaining series.

Video: How does it look?

Galaxy of the Dinosaurs is presented in 1.66:1 widescreen, which is not enhanced for widescreen televisions. This movie was shot on Super VHS with a paper thin budget, so if it looks even passable, I’d say this is a fine treatment. The material looks just as you’d expect, given the low production values and poor equipment used. But the visuals still come across well, so the movie is still watchable, at least from a technical standpoint. There is some grain and debris, colors look a tad washed out, and contrast is inconsistent, but this is Super VHS footage, so to expect much better would be foolish. The stock clips from Planet of the Dinosaurs look out of place, of course, since they have more signs of wear evident. So this is a rather suspect treatment, but the material, not the transfer is to blame.

Audio: How does it sound?

The movie sounds about as good as it looks, which means a limited, but acceptable overall presentation. I don’t really have much to say in this department, as the audio elements are basic and come through, but the production limitations cause some problems. So dialogue is thin at times and sound effects have little presence, but given the slapdash production values, you can’t expect even decent sound design. Of course, the music here as one of the worst soundtracks I have ever heard, so the fact that it sounds good is bad news. I wish the volume were cranked down on the music, given the horrible stock tunes present. In the end, the audio here is basic and acceptable, but it never gets better than that.

Supplements: What are the extras?

In addition to the special Bad Movie Police wraparounds, a decent selection of extras can be found on this disc. An audio commentary with J.R. Bookwalter and star James Black is a highlight, as the two provide a hilarious, no holds barred session. This is like an MST3K style bashing at times, but with a genuine sense of inside fun, since both of these worked on the production and by turn, have better insight into its failures. This disc also includes a look behind the scenes, an interview with James Black, a brief Jessica Mills reporting piece, a selection of still photos, and finally, the film’s original promotional trailer.

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