Plot: What’s it about?
I must admit that I was actually kind of looking forward to seeing “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen”. Not so much that I’d buy a ticket to the movie, but the beauty of DVD is that you can view movies in the privacy of your own home (with better picture and sound) that you’d likewise never make it out to the theater to see. Imagine when my hopes were dashed about 10 minutes in… You see, it’s just not that good or maybe it is if I were a 14-year old girl. Starring up and comer Lindsey Lohan, who at 18, has the kind of voluptuous figure that most women would only dream of. I don’t feel awkward in saying that as Saturday Night Live did a skit (starring her), that essentially said the same thing. Ok, enough talk of Lohan’s breasts…more on her acting ability. She does have that “spark” that few actresses do possess and she exploded on the scene a few years ago when the remake of “Freaky Friday” was an unexpected hit at the box office. Then again, she did have Jamie Lee Curtis as a co-star – now she doesn’t have that luxury.
Lohan stars as Mary (though she goes by ‘Lola’), a lifetime New Yorker who is dragged, kicking and screaming, to a rural town in New Jersey. Her lifetime ambition is to become an actress and when the school play is announced, this gives her an opportunity to spread her dramatic wings. As is the case with most teenage girls (having never been one, I can’t attest to the accuracy here), she ooohs and ahhhs over a rock band and more especially the lead singer, Stu (Adam Garcia). Lola and her straight-laced Karen (Glenne Headly), intend to get tickets to the bands final concert and then get invited to the bands after party, where they’ll get to admire their hero from closer. Now this is where the antagonist comes in…Carla (Megan Fox) is the little rich girl who controls the school. She pretty, popular and her father just happens to be a Stu’s lawyer. And though Lola has beaten her out for the lead in the school play (“Pygmalion”, for anyone who was wondering) Carla and her entourage have decided to make Lola’s life a living hell just because they can – what else happens in high school?
The movie teeters between somewhat entertaining and just too darn predictable for the majority of the running time. Lohan is the real star here and though she wasn’t as good in this as “Freaky Friday”, she didn’t have a whole lot to work with. If “Thirteen” shows the gritty life that some teens are living in today, then “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen” is its polished, polar opposite. We have a sprinkling of everything here, the divorced parents, the kooky band teacher (Carol Kane), the earthy mother and the male love interest in Sam which is never really shown. Sam serves more as an errand boy (to steal a dress for Lola for the party…pending they make it there) and the movie chooses not to focus on the boyfriend/girlfriend aspect of what could have been there. That, too, would have been predicable but it just felt like there was something missing. Lohan’s next effort, “Mean Girls” was critically better and though I’ve not seen it, I’m willing to give her another chance. And I’ll resist the urge to once again talk of her physique…
Video: How does it look?
Disney has done something that not a lot of studios are doing anymore; they actually included a full-frame and a widescreen version of the movie on the same disc! Oh my god, what a novel concept! During the early days, this was one of the more touted benefits of DVD, but studios have since figured that they could sell the movie to more people if they marketed a full-frame version and a widescreen version independently. That being said, the anamorphic widescreen version is the way to go, as the 1.85:1 image almost jumps off the screen. The colors are bright and super vivid, we get to see every sequin on Lola sparkle and the outfits of the other characters look great too. Most of the scenes take place during the day and as a result, they look great. Edge enhancement and artifacting aren’t an issue and the result is a rather amazing looking picture.
Audio: How does it sound?
On the audio front, the Dolby Digital 5.1 mix is rather good as well. It’s a teenage comedy movie, so don’t expect a whole lot; but the dialogue is very clean and there are a few song and dance numbers (yes, literally) that sounded pretty good humming out of my speakers. On a side note, the disc is THX certified, not usually the type of movie that would get this sort of treatment, but it seems to have paid off. Not much else to report on here, the sound is ample.
Supplements: What are the extras?
Starting off the supplements is an audio commentary by Director Sara Sugarman, Writer Gail Parent and the producers Jerry Leider and Robert Shapiro. Oddly enough, the commentary track is on the widescreen version only which sort of makes sense as I don’t know many teenagers who would a) watch the widescreen version and b) listen to a director’s commentary on “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen”. The track moves at a rapid pace and though we don’t learn a whole lot about the production, it’s a nice extra to have. There is one deleted scene entitled “Eliza’s Fantasy” which has Lola (as Eliza Doolittle in “Pygmalion”) doing just that…having a fantasy. I can see why it was cut, though at 90 minutes the movie could have benefited from the extra length. Lohan’s video “That Girl” is also included; it plays over the closing credits as well as the obligatory “Behind the Scenes” featurette. This breaks no new ground and has interviews with the cast and crew of the movie. All in all, maybe I’m just too old to be watching this sort of thing, but I suppose this has an audience somewhere. It’s just not me.
