Horrors of Spider Island

January 28, 2012 7 Min Read

Review by: Fusion3600

Plot: What’s it about?

Imagine being stranded on a remote island, with little hope of ever being rescued and returned home. Sounds pretty bleak, eh? But what if you were stranded on this island with a team of gorgeous women, who love to strip down to their birthday suits and seems to be very giving? It wouldn’t be so bad then, now would it? This is what happens to Gary (Alex D’Arcy), who manages a band of beautiful ladies and ended up in a crash on a deserted island. The girls don’t like the searing heat in the least and in order to keep cool, they remove their clothes every chance they have, which Gary doesn’t mind of course. Soon however, the naked romps turn serious when the castaways discover a massive spiderweb with a corpse held inside. This spooks them out of course, but they soon return to dropping their threads and dancing like there’s no tomorrow. But when Gary gets a bite from a twisted spider, things spiral from tropical paradise into isolated hell, as he tries to slaughter the ladies. Can the girls survive the attacks of the massive spider beast, or will they simply be more corpses hanging in the webs?

If you are afraid of spiders, this is one film you will want to avoid at all costs, I assure you. This movie uses all sorts of spiders to spook the viewer, from normal spiders to human spiders to almost disturbing special effects spiders. So in other words, when the title says Spider Island, it means business, as this island is covered with the creatures. This film gained some exposure after a stint on Mystery Science Theater 3000, but I prefer the stand alone version to the comic relief one. I think this movie walks the line between monster movie and nudie flick with nice grace, as fans of both should find a lot to like here. That isn’t to claim this is a classic of cinema, but fans of similar ilk should be pleased with Horrors of Spider Island. The storyline is paper thin at best and the acting is miserable, but genre fans should already expect that here. There’s also some pretty creepy sequences with the spiders, as well as some nice flesh from the ladies, so the eyes always have some candy in some form. I can’t recommend this one to all readers, but fans of film like this will want to give it a look. I wish the disc had more film specific supplements, but in the end the disc is still worth the cash.

To discuss the acting in this film calls for a dual approach, to judge the physical mannerisms and the overdubbed voice acting. This was a German film and as such, the English dubbed track is hilarious and not on purpose, it seems like maybe three people performed all of the voices. This could be bad or good news, depending on how you like your low budget movies. I happen to be middle of the road as far as this genre and original language, but I do love the awful voice acting done in the English overdubs. In all other cases, I would be all for the original language track, but with B movies, the dubbed tracks seem to add a lot to the pictures. At any rate, don’t expect much from the voice talent or the on screen talent, both factions seem to be sleepwalking through this one. The cast includes Alex D’Arcy (The Blonde From Singapore, The Festival Girls), Allen Turner (Biloxi Blues), Donna Ulsike, Norma Townes, Harald Maresch (Brainwashed, False Shame), Barbara Valentin (Escape From Blood Plantation, Women In Hospital), and a wealth of beautiful women looking to shed their linen.

Video: How does it look?

Horrors of Spider Island is presented in a 1.66:1 widescreen transfer, which is not enhanced for widescreen televisions. I am very pleased with this transfer, as the source print looks almost pristine and the image is very sharp & detailed. The black & white transfer is very good, with well balanced contrast and no loss of detail in the least. I’ve seen this in a few different editions and by far, this the best looking version to date. I do think this should have been enhanced for widescreen televisions, but it is still an above average transfer.

Audio: How does it sound?

Aside from the hilarious voice work, this mono track is right on target and no real problems surface. The vocals sound clean and smooth, though the talent used could have used some polish, but that’s half the fun in this case. The music comes off well also, no distortion is present and the sound effects are distinct as well. This one isn’t the track to showcase your system with, but it is more than adequate to handle the film’s audio needs.

Supplements: What are the extras?

This disc includes a selection of exploitation artwork, as well as three bonus short films. The three short films don’t concern the main feature, but at least they are spider themed and fun to watch. I wish there were some film specific bonus materials, but at least some effort was made to add value elements to this release.

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