Plot: What’s it about?
In Kiss Me Quick!, alien life finally ventures to Earth, but not for the reasons you might expect. An alien visitor has come to our planet from the Buttless Galaxy and while he is in town on business, it’s more along the lines of monkey business. The alien is named Sterilox and he has a most important mission, to find the perfect female specimen. And of course, he knows the best place to find lush hotties is the castle of Dr. Breedlove, who designs his own women for maximum enjoyment. Dr. Breedlove is more than able to supply some contenders for Sterilox, as he parades his selection of gorgeous robot hunnies, who love to shed their clothing, no matter what the circumstances. Will Sterilox be able to complete his mission with Dr. Breedlove’s lovelies, or do the finest female reside elsewhere? In House on Bare Mountain, we watch as Granny Good and her beautiful young ladies throw their annual Halloween bash, complete with monsters, music, and a group of feds looking to close the shindig down. But this night won’t be the usual one by any means, as Granny’s werewolf is ready for love and on Halloween, anything can happen…
I love these double features from Something Weird Video (via Image Entertainment) and in this case, we’re given a double dose of nudie movies, each with a monstrous twist thrown in. Kiss Me Quick! is the obvious better of the two and has some hilarious moments, especially the Dr. Breedlove moments, which always make me laugh. In addition to the usual naked girls that abound, Kiss Me Quick! also has some unique guest stars, in the form of several of Universal’s classic monsters such as Frankenstein and The Mummy. If you can’t tell by now, this is about as ridiculous as a film can be and while it isn’t for everyone, I thought it was highly amusing and genre fans will be quite pleased, to be sure. In another interesting note, the cinematography in Kiss Me Quick! was done by Laszlo Kovacs, who went on to shoot Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Ghostbusters, and a wealth of other mainstream films, as well as exploitation classics such as Mantis in Lace and The Notorious Daughter of Fanny Hill. I wasn’t as taken by House on Bare Mountain, but it supplied some fun moments and this is a double feature, so it doesn’t hurt to have it on deck. If you’re a fan of these kind of movies, this disc is highly recommended and since Something Weird has included a lot of bonus materials, I think a purchase is more than justified.
Video: How does it look?
Both films are presented in full frame transfers, which is an acceptable form for these flicks to be shown in. Kiss Me Quick! looks very good and sports a much cleaner print than expected, though some slight flaws still surface. The minor grain never lessens the image much, so colors remain bold, flesh tones look natural, and contrast is even handed. Given the film’s age and low budget, I am very surprised it looks this good, to be sure. House on Bare Mountain doesn’t hold up as well, but it still looks decent and is more than watchable. The print shows more debris and damage, but the colors and contrast are stable, if not too impressive. Some scenes look better than others, but in any case, I think fans will be pleased here.
Audio: How does it sound?
As you would expect, these films don’t need much audio presence and as such, the included mono options are more than adequate. Kiss Me Quick! sounds a little less dated and is much sharper, but both tracks are decent and free from serious problems. I did hear some distortion in House on Bare Mountain, but nothing to be concerned with, by any means. The wacky music, offbeat sound effects, and hilarious dialogue all come through well in these tracks and in these cases, that proves to be enough.
Supplements: What are the extras?
In addition to two feature films, this disc also includes some cool supplements, such as audio commentary track by producer Harry Novak. The audio commentary runs over Kiss Me Quick! and as always, Novak has a lot of interesting comments to dispense. I think fans of Novak’s films will love this track, as he really talks a storm and leaves little silent spaces. You’ll also find theatrical trailers for both films, but the extras don’t end there, I assure you. A healthy selection of bonus short films have also been included, with Natasha’s Suburban Sexercise, Strip Tease Queen, Werewolf Bongo, and The Vampire and the Vixen all found on the disc. You can also view two additional theatrical featurettes here, with Hot Hot Skin and The Nudie Watusi tacked on, both of which feature female talent from Kiss Me Quick! As always, a selection of exploitation artwork is also included here, complete with radio spot rarities.
