Plot: What’s it about?
It seems the Titanic will see another trek on the high seas, as 2000 rolls around and some serious cash has been sunk into the ship’s restoration. But it seems the Captain demanded a golden wheel at the helm and with a pretty tight budget, that meant cutting some corners, very important corners indeed. As a result of the low budget involved, the ship’s hull is forged from aluminum and as such, it seems this second voyage will be just as doomed as the maiden one. But the structure of the ship is not the only problem here, as a gorgeous vampire named Vladamina (Tammy Parks) is also on board, so that means serious danger for the passengers. But the males on deck are in luck, as she is a lesbian and as a result, is only interested in the beautiful female passengers, which also means some wild lesbian love is bound to happen, always good news. But as the ship nears the inevitable fate of heading down, what will become of Vladamina, her henchmen, the lovelies on board, and of course, all the morons that have stowed away on the ship?
This movie has it all, from bad special effects to hilarious moments to lesbian vampires, so fans of these elements are in for a real treat here. I happen to dislike Titanic by James Cameron, so I was hoping this pseudo-spoof would offer a good time, which does in spades. It starts with a terrific, but also miserable premise and spirals into even more ludicrous moments, just as B movie fans expect and love. I think the screenplay is very well written in a sense, because there is a lot of great humor, even if it won’t win any serious awards. The movie has a ton of blue screen work and of course, it is poorly done and as such, even more humor is added in, at least I think so. I like bad special effects in flicks like this one, so while some might be let down in the laughable computer effects, I think they add more entertainment value, which is always welcome. The wealth of lesbian sex is also a serious plus, with ladies such as Tammy Parks and Tina Krause in tip top form. I think this flick has all the elements you’d want from a Seduction Cinema production and as such, fans of the genre will not want to overlook this very enjoyable release.
Video: How does it look?
Titanic 2000 is presented in a full frame transfer, as intended. This is a very good and given the film’s low budget origins, I am surprised it looks this solid. I did see some grain at times, but not too much and in the end, the image is more than sharp enough, to be sure. The colors look vivid and never smear, while the abundant flesh tones seem on the mark too, always natural. I do think the contrast is a little light at times, but only to a minor degree, so no real complaints. This isn’t as pristine and refined as some transfers, but it still looks great and deserves a high score.
Audio: How does it sound?
A Dolby Digital stereo option is used and while it is good, it still retains the normal limitations of the stereo format. The basics come through well enough however, so I see no reason why anyone would be let down in the least, given the film’s minimal audio demands. The sound effects are used for humorous reasons most of the time, so they don’t call for much range or power, which is good news in this case. I heard no real problems with the track at all really, since dialogue is also clean and never posed any flaws to speak of, very good work indeed.
Supplements: What are the extras?
This disc includes some cool features, such as a bonus short film with Tina Krause titled Susie’s Bad Day, a selection of still photos, and the film’s trailer, as well as some bonus trailers. You can also peruse Before Titanic, which is a collection of brief skits performed by members of Titanic 2000’s cast. Some are funny and some are bombs, but they’re all worth a look.
