The Beautiful, the Bloody, and the Bare & Behind Locked Doors

January 28, 2012 6 Min Read

Review by: Fusion3600

Plot: What’s it about?

In The Beautiful, the Bloody, and the Bare, we watch a young man named Pete is taken on a trek of immense horror and damnation. Just back from a journey to Europe, Pete drops in on his old friend Leo, who aspires to be an artist. Well, he is already an artist in the sense that he creates art, but he wants some financial compensation. The closest thing he can score is work as an art teacher, but at least he works with naked women as models. Pete takes a fond look at the work and decides to work with naked women himself, as a photographer. But thanks to some horrific visions he had in Europe, he is doomed. His mind snaps whenever he sees the color red, so some of the shoots could turn lethal. Can he overcome this color madness, or will hottie after hottie have to perish because of his affliction? In Behind Locked Doors, a group of lust crazed hippies and hicks land in an old mansion, under the watchful eye of one Mr. Bradley. He owns the mansion and operates some ununsual experiments there. The experiments are sexual in nature, so of course, his new guests are perfect to work on. Soon enough, we witness finger sniffing, lesbian love, oiled up hunks, and even self pleasure. Can the newcomers ever hope to escape, or will they be doomed to be players in this orgy of carnal gratification?

This is another double delight of Harry Novak explotation, but are these sickies are sick as promised? The Beautiful, the Bloody, and the Bare is up first and if you’re tired of plot getting in the way of naked women in movies, then is your picture. The film is pretty much a photo shoot of the ladies in the nude, with the thinnest of storylines weaved in, just to provide some, though minimal semblance of narrative. I expected a nice blend of blood with the nude chicks, but this movie is quite bloodless. No real violence, no real gore, just a stream of hotties dropping their clothes, while some dull, monotonous narration drones on. This is the kind of movie most folks wouldn’t even bother fast forwarding through to see the good parts, though if you want all breasts and no plot, then you might be interested. But the second half, Behind Locked Doors more than compensates and alone is worth the price of admission. The flick has lesbian love, masturbation, and sexual experiments, all done in the cheapest methods possible. Behind Locked Doors is still a bad movie, but at least it delivers on the expected goods. As usual, Something Weird has tossed on a mess of cool supplements, so this disc is a solid value. If you’re a fan of Novak’s cinema or just low rent nudies in general, this double feature is worth a look.

Video: How does it look?

The films are presented in full frame, as intended. This score is split down the middle, as the movies have vastly different presentations. The Beautiful, the Bloody, and the Bare looks almost pristine at times and never looks bad, as if the elements have been stored properly and well cared for, since I am fairly sure restoration wasn’t an option here. The print looks excellent, with minimal signs of age related defects, as well as a pretty crisp overall presence. A shock, but a most welcome one, to say the least. Behind Locked Doors doesn’t look that good, but the print is passable and this is about what I expected. So print flaws, softness, color bleeds, and the like are present, but the film is still watchable.

Audio: How does it sound?

The mono tracks used here sound stable, but both soundtracks are unremarkable. Not a lot to discuss outside here, as vocals come through well enough and sound effects seem in proper order. You’ll hear some age related defects here and there, plus these are older, very low budget pictures, so no one should expect pristine audio treatments, if you ask me. The audio in both films is acceptable, but flawed and that’s good enough, given the material that is involved.

Supplements: What are the extras?

You’ll find four bonus short films (Playgirl Models, Part Time Pin-Up, Sexycises, and Sex Workshop), Novak’s still photos and artwork, and theatrical trailers for both films.

Disc Scores